I grew up with a mother that was attractive, sexy, fun, and had this laugh that pulled in strangers from around the room. Men and women were both intrigued by her. She was my role model of what a Mother should be. At the same time, I did not learn from my mother how to respect myself, my body, or my own feminine power. And that’s where I learned what a Mother should not be.
I think I rebelled against femininity at a young age and unconsciously decided I did not want to be like my mother. I was proud to label myself as a tomboy as an adolescent. I played and excelled at all sports. I wore baggy JNKO jeans for one summer. Hey - they must have looked great on my 100 pound tall and slender frame I am sure! The only time I could be caught wearing a dress or skirt was when someone was getting married or had died. And even then it was a dressed up version of skorts. Into my pre-teen years I shifted from gang-banger baggy attire to dark brown eyeliner that outlined my lips with dark mocha lipstick.
As I got older, I was developing into more of my Mother’s style – sexy and fun. Although, a young teenager that lacks strong feminine values should not be defining herself as sexy. My viewpoint of what it meant to be a woman was seriously way out of whack!
Into my adulthood I did a ton of personal and professional leadership growth work, which has led me to take a good look at what it really means to be feminine. I had an “assignment” with one of my leadership groups and it was to wear pink for an entire month. My assignment also consisted of lovingly embracing all things feminine. This would mean that all the “pink girly” things that I had sworn off years before would now be coming back to haunt me. Skirts, all things pink, flowers, bows, braids, nail polish, natural looking makeup, and most of all those type of “sorority girls” that tried so hard to be my best friend.
Embracing “pink” for the month was more challenging than I had expected. But it wasn’t the glam, glitter, and girl talk that was challenging. It was looking at the underlying unconscious beliefs about women, and myself as a woman that was the challenge. I had to unlearn what my mother and father, whom were my primary role models of what embracing life as a woman was supposed to look and feel like, taught me. These underlying feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and resentments were really holding me back from being the beautiful, powerful, feminine woman I was meant to be.
Now as a mother to my pink-loving, tulle skirt wearing, girlfriend hugging, playful, beautiful, 3.5 year old daughter Delaney Shae-Marie, I am left with the challenge of showing her what it means to embrace her own femininity in a positive, self-loving way. I am blessed to have so many ultra-feminine girlfriends, like Silvana, who serve as positive role models in my life. I am learning a new meaning of what attractive, sexy, and fun can look like when I respect my own womanhood. As I learn to love the woman that I am inside and out, my daughter learns this too.
So on this Mother’s Day, I will be proud of the wife, mother, friend, ally, coach, leader, sister, and WOMAN I am. I will embrace my inner-child as I put on my matching tulle skirt with my precious daughter, Delaney. We will sip tea together, do our hair and our makeup, and talk about all things girly! We will talk about what it means to respect the woman I am and the young lady that Delaney is becoming.
Thanks The Tulle Project for presenting me with an avenue to create a new family system in which each generation of women love who they are inside and out.
Amber and her adorable 3.5 year old daughter, Delaney Shae-Marie, will be spending this Mother’s Day picnicking in the park sporting tulle skirts!
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About the writer:
Amber Marie Ake Burosh, MA, is a wife, mother, coach, transformational leader, and educator. She is an Independent Arbonne Consultant transforming people’s lives through health, fitness, and well-being.
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